Beauty For Ashes

To all the 14-year-old girls going through difficulties, insecurities, challenges, and sufferings, I want to assure you that you will overcome all these, that we have the tools within ourselves, and that the Bridle Up Hope program helps us use our powers. I would have liked to have had a program, a person, or a helping hand when I was your age. 

I was 14 when the tragedy of my mother’s death forever changed my life and the lives of my siblings. To make matters worse, my father died shortly thereafter. A phrase that has stuck with me throughout my life is “beauty for ashes.” I want to think that everything I had to go through had some purpose to create something better. I do not wish what I went through on anyone, and I endured many hard years after my mother died. Although I survived the worst that could have happened to me, looking back at those times, I realize that a bigger power was weaving the tapestry of my life. 

I am from a small valley in the Andes called Alausí, in the Chimborazo province of Ecuador. I had always wanted to attend college and get a degree from a young age, although no university was nearby. After my mother’s death, we moved to Quito, the capital, where I completed high school and got the equivalent of an associate’s degree. I thought I was done, but more was in store for me.  

I came to the United States with the idea of studying English. Leaving my family was hard, but I arrived and finished my English courses. I enrolled in BYU, got some scholarships, and completed my BA. I got my master’s degree at the University of Utah a couple of years later. At BYU, I met the man who would eventually become my husband. He is the best companion I could ask for. We married and had three boys, now all adults with their careers. We were also motivated to seek a daughter we adopted in 2013. My friend Cindy Powell told me about Bridle Up Hope when we had similar roles in our congregations in Alpine. I joined Bridle Up Hope for my daughter, and Cindy was my first instructor. Cindy was the best, motivating me to learn new things and complete the program.

Studying the seven habits at Bridle Up Hope helped me name several practices and habits I had acquired to overcome difficulties in my past: resilience, perspective, and proactivity. I imagine those traits helped me leave everything I knew in Ecuador and forge a new life in the United States. When I was a single woman, I put my education first. After getting married and having children, my family became my priority. 

The loss of my mother has colored everything I do. That loss taught me empathy. Habit number five, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” comes to my mind because I became an empathetic listener. I learned new habits that continue to help me be a better mother, wife, friend, leader, and human being.

After I finished the program, I had to change my priorities and left Bridle Up Hope for a while. Little by little, I have been returning and accumulating hours, which allowed me to ride and establish a relationship with the horses and the teachers. Tori, Hannah, and Sarah are some of the instructors who have helped me improve. 

One of my favorite experiences was riding Kokomo. Tori had explained that he had lots of energy and was fast, so Tori kindly set the poles and we serpentined around. That was my first experience trotting. I loved it and told myself I’d ride Kokomo whenever possible. I asked for him the next time, but someone else was riding him. Sarah suggested I try Diego. It was a cold, windy morning in February. Despite the weather, we wanted to be outside, and for the first time, we did canter. Oh, my goodness, it was exhilarating! That day changed my life. I wrote this in my journal: “I felt I could do anything. Diego, the wind, and the universe created a powerful energy that enveloped my whole being, and I didn’t know how to explain it. I felt like Santiago in The Alchemist, “of whom the legend told of the boy who had turned himself into the wind.” Like Santiago, I was one with the wind, one with Diego, and one with the universe. For a few seconds, I had “within me the winds, the deserts, the oceans, the stars, and everything that was created in the universe.” 

The experience with Diego was so powerful that I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. I’ll be looking forward to having more moments like that. For now, I’ll keep practicing and improving my equestrian skills. I am grateful to Sarah for her encouragement, trust, and inspiration. The Bridle Up Hope instructor team taught me patience, love, perseverance, courage, service and much more. The beautiful horses taught me to ride, to fly, to connect with my inner self and with the universe. I am in awe of Rebecca Covey and her family, who turned their grief into a beautiful foundation that blesses women and girls. They truly created beauty from ashes. 

• Bridle Up Hope Women’s Participant

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